Life

A bundle of thoughts

Permalink It’s amazing how many deep memories can become etched in one’s mind, over the short span of a few months. everything that once was, however, now isn’t. So I suppose I lied, when I said there’s nothing in life to regret.
Permalink organized my email, tidied up my computer, and changed my wallpaper. term 2 awaits! the idea of contract again makes me go urgh, though.
Permalink Resolutions for 2012 (or at least the first part): 1) Be a better Christian 2) Do far better in school 3) More efficiency in my work, allowing more balance in my life.
Permalink what friendship is
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Fucking depressed.

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Depressed as hell

For I’ve tried a whole range of stuff, and met a whole lot of people, but there’s really very little things/relationships I am proud of, or feel a sense of accomplishment towards.



And worse still, I don’t know what to do about this.

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Eh wtf, it’s back again ._.

Perhaps it’s time I time these lapses - sometimes it really seems I’m female

Permalink Question: do numbers like these actually receive calls?
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First

And so I just got my first overall grade of law school - b+. I will learn to be contented.

It turns out that my assessments of standards are pretty sound though, so that means more fierceness is required, next sem.

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and so I realise, that I’ve been feeling miserable the past few weeks not just because of exams and deadlines, but also because I can’t make up my frickin mind what I want, and what I need.

damn it already.

Permalink And so today, in spite of all rational faculties, I dragged my carcass to church because I felt God telling me to. edit: it was wise. it did help, and I ended up far more productive later in the day, so it turned out pragmatically useful as well.
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Dear God

I don’t ask for much,

just time to keep up, which means having enough time to do the rest of my due projects and reports.

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I used to think that you were the only one for me; that I never considered anyone else because I only saw myself with you. I realised today, however, that perhaps it wasn’t really “you” that I want, but just the feeling of loving someone, and being loved in return.

For I realised that I couldn’t see myself with you either.

It begs the question… What now?

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I had told the voices then:

What I lacked in terms of memory I would compensate by internalisation.
What I lacked in intelligence I would make up twice over in industriousness.

to what point, though?